Disregard my previous plan for Tiny Reviews on Saturdays. I neglected to consider the drop in traffic that occurs over weekends, so Tiny Reviews will happen on Wednesdays. Weekends will continue to be content-free, other than the occasional Sunday Twitter recap.

Moving on, I now review The Vampire Lovers, a hot little number from Hammer starring Ingrid Pitt, Peter Cushing, and a truckload of hotness. Lesbian vampires with sexy voices dressed up (and down) in mannerly Victorian style, between murders and the gentle caressing of ample bosoms. Did I mention I love Hammer Films? Well, this movie, and possibly Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, I consider to be its crown jewels. It never goes too far with the cheesecake, though. This is definitely not porn and you see much more intense sexuality in practically any modern R rated movie, but this movie is sexy, not sexual.

Beauty, breasts, blood, beheadings. And Castles. (I wish there was a word for castles that started with a ‘b’.) Vampirism definitely takes a backseat to the lesbianism on display here, as if love was the true malevolent force at work here.  To keep this a Tiny Review, I’m not going to get into the story, but it never really gets dull and is nicely shot. There are some lame effects (See below, but this is 1970, and Hammer, after all.) Overall just solid and pseudo-classy entertainment starring the most beautiful dead woman in the world and the man who destroyed Alderaan. How can you go wrong?

Viewed on DVD / Available via Netflix Instant 8.0